Friday, November 18, 2011

November 18, 2011

It is the third Friday of November already can you beleive it? Why is it that the first fifteen days of a month go crawling by and the next fifteen fly by? I just don't get it! 

I have been exploring so many things lately yet it feels like I haven't done anything. Well to be totally honest I haven't. As with things most of my life I have ideas, make plans and then it stops there. I seldom get past the planning stage.

I do know that I have blogged almost every day so far even with the death of my father. Actually yesterday it was one month after his death. It seems different somehow his death compared to moms. Perhaps because I am older and thus more able to cope. I said my goodbyes nearly a year ago so that might also been part of it. I have had time to adjust to the fact that he was going to die, he was 81 after all nearly 82.

My mothers death was sudden, she had been in a wheelchair for awhile but she was still strong and involved. Her death came as a huge shock because she went from fine to dead in 24 hours. I spent many years blaming myself because I was the one who dressed her that day. I can't help thinking that when I tested the catheter that I opened the path that let the infection into her bloodstream, however it got there it was swift and deadly. She was young, I think she was just 50. You would think I would remember that but it has been 20 years.

Hmm that is not the path I thought I would take but I guess I still need to talk about them. I suppose because I have several unresolved issues where they are concerned. Not going there today.

My first blog was called RambleTime. It was closed by google because I tried a different desktop writer and it totally messed things up. To get your account back after google has locked it is nearly impossible unless you keep every post you make as well as things like the day you started it and other things like that that I simply do not remember. So I created a New ID and a New blog. I suppose I could rename it Ramble Time, I did think of that but decided against it. I am seeking a name the really, really describes me. So far it has not appeared

Lost Soul, Survivor, Wild Child all ring bells but are not quite right as they do not address everything I share here. I did own Creative Indulgences and that name still hits me where I live unfortunatly it is not available because it was part of the account that was closed. I don't know if I can change the title or not. I suppose I should try. Changing the URL is much harder as the most useful URL's are already taken.

I am wearyand I think I shall be in bed early tonight, at least I hope I will it depends on where I go and what I do from here.

Have a good week-end all

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