Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Christmas

And now or rather tomorrow we begin the countdown to the end of the year. Yes this year the start of 2012 interests me far more than Christmas. In truth this year I would have gladly given up Christmas altogether. Christmas just holds too many memories. Oh they were really good Chrismases but with the passing of my father and more importantly his whole generation all the joy has drained from this celebration. I know that as the oldest member of my family I should make an effort but the spark just isn't there.

I wonder if there are others who feel the same angst this year. I am willing to bet any number of fifty somethings are also suffering the depression that is so heavy on me this year. Fifty something, remember when we thought thirty something was a big deal. How two decades change things :)

Is fifty the new thirty? For some of us perhaps, me I am living the life I should have lived in my twenties instead of spending my time raising two kids. Well sort of I don't have to work because of the fibro but it is still about learning to live alone, something I did not do until I was well into my thirties and then only for a few months.

Not good words for this most special of days but a peek into my mind and life at this point in my life.

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