Wednesday, January 18, 2012

18/01/2012

It was the strangest thing, this morning I woke up with a bruise on my clicker finger of my mouse hand. It wasn't on the knuckle  but appears to go from the knuckle up towards the nail. As long as I don't use that finger much it is fine but just sitting here typing makes it sting, Beyond that my right side of my body is experiencing a flare up from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. The only thing I can think of is that when I went shopping on Monday I hurt myself man-handling my little cart. It was overfull and very heavy. At first I thought I had just got some ink on me but it didn't wash off. I also found a couple of small ones on the palm of my right hand that's why I figure it has to do with the cart.

Today my baby sister turns 40. It is strange to think that we are that old. I still remember us as kids running around and playing in the yard, now we all have a bit of difficulty getting up to a run let alone doing it for long periods of time.I myself am in my fifty-second year. I felt strange when I reached the half century I hadn't beleived I would ever make it to my fifth decade. Given my lifestyle up until I was forty I probably wouldn't have but in ten years I was able to eliminate every bad habit I had. Now if I could just learn to like movement more I'd be all set.

I stopped drinking, stopped smoking and even though I didn't think it possible I even stopped craving sex all within ten years. Of course with all those bad habits gone I now sit in front of my computer about 18 hours a day and weigh approx twice what I did in my twenties. Like I said if they could make exercise as much fun as the computer I'd be right there but it really is a chore for me right now to even consider going to the grocery store let alone the six kilometer walks I used to take.

Besides my ongoing issues with Fibro and depression, I am obese and suffer great pain both inside and out. You would think that would make me more inclined to take care of myself but it doesn't. For the last week, ever sense we got that bit of a cold snap after New Years I have been sleeping far more than I should. Up to twelve hours some days. My head aches, my eyes have an infection or something cause my vision is all blurry, my ears hurt, on and on and on. I could start at the top of my head and work down to my toes with complaints but the truth is my body aches every where it seems. I don't think it is the flu but it could well be. I do have to take the bus when I go out so lord knows what king of virii I have been exposed to.

The worst by far is my vision. All the letters are doubled and the eyes thenselves feel dry and they sting. That is when I can keep them open. They were so bloodshot the other day I had to use eyedrops twice instead of just the once I ussually need to do. Feeling so tired.

I put some structure back in my days I need some structure if I don't have any I end up playing my game on Facebook for hours and hours or sleeping for hours and hours. I really want to focus on writing this year. I am still struggling with a word for the Year though I thought I had chosen one. Thing is right at this moment all I can remember is last years word which was focus. Perhaps that will be my word for this year as well since last year I didn't do the focus thing that well, I was still all over the place. Last year should have been change because it was a year of many changes both in myself and in my enviroment.

Lord I really can't recall what I chose, I remember it was an odd word and had to do with imagination and being creative. Ahh well I'm sure it will come back or another word will make itself heard. I am almost at my 750 words and I am seriously thinking about lying down again even though I only woke up a couple of hours ago.

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