Saturday, May 11, 2013

May 11

I have not been to my parents grave in over a year, it is a long drive and when I do get there I always come away sadder than I was when I set out for the trip. I find it better for me if I write about them and my life and what I know of them rather than go to the place where their bones rest. Remembering them when they were alive is how they would prefer I did it I think. In the end they only found peace when they died but their lives are worth remembering to help me deal with the illness I inherited from both of them. They found peace and they are happy Honouring them is done with every action or inaction I take that is an echo of how they lived and what they wanted for us. Given my behaviour of recent years I haven't done that but my excuse is a lot of stuff happened over the last five years that have made me a very different person from who I used to be and remembering them alive or dead does not help me at all

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