Friday, December 27, 2013

5 days until 2014- Evaluating the Past Year

My 2013 was a year of major trials and surprising triumphs.

I liked the note this year is ending on. I feel I have made a positive beginning in several areas where I was stuck and stagnating.

Of the five goals I set for myself last January first I completed the first two and made progress in the others as well I added a couple of extra goals in March and was able to make progress towards them too

 Surprisingly I didn't choose a word for this past year, I couldn't settle on just one thing to focus on. I started out the year thinking about my body issues as usual then in March switched to writing then in August as usual it all fell apart and I have no idea how. The blog entries for that month doesn't tell me much at all and my memory is even worse.

I went to an Art Therapy class during the last quarter and made more progress towards my mental health goal than I did in the first three quarters so I know I find good self expression in art and hope to continue exploring it in 2014. I asked the members of my therapy group if they would be interested in joining me, several of them were glad to.

I tried to get back into dancing but I am still having issues with it. The dance group I have been longing to go to for a couple of years didn't work out for me at all. I ended up having a full blown anxiety attack. I really think it would be good for me but I just can't get my mind and body to agree. That was perhaps my greatest disappointment of the year. I had been so excited about it and I failed myself badly.

For me my greatest triumph came when I actually put on a swimsuit and took an aquafit class at the local YMCA. I am so proud of myself and I want to feel that way again. I smiled for days after that.

1 comment:

  1. You did so good that day at the Y, and you looked great in the suit----couldn't figure out why you'd feel self-conscious, but I understand the complexity of self-perception. I decided a few years ago to let my mambas hang out and let others take in the haunting beauty of my plumptitude, and if they don't like my rolls and relaxed boobage they can go FUCK themselves....anyway, I don't think you failed yourself at all at the dance class, you showed up and participated for some time, and then you paid attention to your anxiety and took care of yourself. That's all success. That night was an accomplishment too.