Sunday, January 5, 2014

Day 5 of 2014

I can not wait until the boys are back in school and I can get some of my life back even if it is only Monday & Tuesday. Monday will be my Aquafit day, it is about the only day I can be sure I'll be there. On Tuesday's  starting the 14th for 12 weeks I'll be attending the Self Esteem group. After that I'm going to see about doing Assertiveness or Healthy Living or maybe both. Craving Change begins on the 10th. Craving Change is only in January so in Feb I will have my Friday's back.

After all that planning I need time to think and get started. Have a good day!

This is my oldest still existing blog. I have about eight altogether and as part of my paring down process are thinking of eliminating  several that I haven't used since mid-year 2013 or longer. I would like to not lose the entries from them especially since one of them holds my autobiography and another holds those letters I write cause they keep going round and round in my head and I have to get them out so I can sleep. They are also under two different gmail addresses which make it a bit difficult to combine them, not impossible but difficult.

Then I have to ask myself why do I want so many blogs anyway? Why don't I use tags and just put them all on this one. Part of it of course is because some of them contain private information that I don't want to share, at least one of them was supposed to be a store front but I decided I didn't really have the energy to run a business, not when I require so much just to get through the day by day stuff.

I deal with pain and limited mobility every day and a cycle of depression that never stops. There are days when all I want to do is stay in bed all day, I don't get to because I need to help my daughter out but still I long for it. I also long for a return of those days when I could pack up and move house in three days but that level of energy and strength will never come again.

When I get my weight down I will be easing some of the stress on my body but I am over fifty and everything is slowing down or falling apart, that is a normal part of ageing. I can try and paint rosy pictures of running a 5K Marathon when I am 60 or so but honestly I don't feel that it will be a possibility for me, there are just too many things on the "Not going to happen" side of the scale.

Feeling tired, I really need to call it a night and get some sleep.

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