Friday, February 14, 2014

Happy Valentines Day/ Happy Chocolate Day

It is a damn shame there isn't a day celebrating middle-age females, I would love a holiday just for me that didn't include some role I play like wife or mother or grandmother.

I would call it something fantastical like Freedom Day or Joy Day or maybe Power to Be Day. OK maybe that is a bit optimistic considering how much time I spend fighting the chains of depression, On the other hand it would certainly free me for that day as it would be a positive burst of energy.

OK I'm not sure if I'm making sense today my brain is full of fog. It is the first time in a long time that my brain has been so muddled and foggy. It's like floating in a pool of greyness but it is a pool that seems endless and I can't see anyone or anything else except the fog that surrounds me.

Yes I know I am repeating something I have said time and time again. It should be better by now, I should be able to do things without chains tying me down. Or mental barriers that have no basis in the real world holding me back. A lot of shoulds, I keep asking myself why? Why is it that something I find is hard to do is something that is supposed to be easy?

OK time to call it quits for now. I just had to rewrite that whole question because the way I'd written it made no sense whatsoever

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