What is the worst thing that could happen if I don't do this?
Death by inches- Diabetes & Cancer
What is the worst thing that could happen if I did do this?
Longer, healthier life. Fewer illnesses and lots fewer medications.
What is the best thing that could happen if I do this?
A new wardrobe, renewed energy, less pain
What is the best thing that would happen if I didn't do this?
Quick death- Heart attack or Stroke
So I got to ask myself if my only choice as things stand now is between a quick death and a slow one why do I not make a more concentrated effort to do the things the Doctor and Dietician tell me I need to be doing?
My first response would be I just don't have the energy. The answer to this is always the same the more energy you use the more you get back except the part they don't tell you is that it takes 21 days or more of energy output before you start to notice an increase in your energy levels. Who has that kind of patience?
Well I used to but then I used to have a lot of things just as I used to do a lot of things but over the past few years, (since I hit the 200lb mark and my fathers death), it all seems to have disappeared from my desires. Mostly these days all I desire is to sleep. Which isn't good at all.
But lets get back to the subject at hand. Energy is a body response to fuel and emotion, no I don't have any evidence to back myself up I just know me, Fuel of course is food but how does emotion figure into the equation? Ever been scared? Your fight or flight response if triggered by negative emotions like fear and anger. This kick starts your body to burn some of its reserves to assist you in either running away or defending yourself. This does not mean I recommend spending your life being afraid or angry all the time that will put you into a nuthouse quick.
Fuel on the other hand is about what you eat and more importantly for weight loss what you burn. My Basal Metabolic Rate is 1670 which means I require 2296 calories just to keep my organs working. To lose weight you are to decrease your calories by 500-1000 calories per day. The recommended way of doing this is to split the daily goal between food and exercise so you eat say 250 fewer calories and do 250 calories worth of exercise per day. That last part is the part I have trouble with. I have been watching my calories for awhile and am beginning to learn good portion control. Though what is considered a portion still blows me away sometimes. 5 jumbo shrimp?, 2 breaded chicken wings? & those two wings hold 220 calories in em wow!
Exercise ... say it like a swear word and you'll approximate my feelings around this word. Loving Movement means the same but sounds nicer. Physical fitness is what it is and being physical is a big part of my problem. I feel chained to this computer and leaving it even for five minutes or more to do something active disturbs me. So I'm a computer addict which means getting physical can be difficult for me.
Here are a few examples of calories burned by certain activities:
Walking 2.0 mph, slow 233 per hour
Walking the dog 279 per hour
Taking out trash 279 per hour
I found these and several others at a web site called NutriStrategy. The calories burned listed above are a guesstimate using a person of 205 lbs as the tester. This chart also lists other weight levels but the main fact is this, in order to get anywhere near the number of calories I need to burn I have to do some form of movement for 60 minutes a day. Sixty minutes a day with a bum knee, fibro and depression all weighted against me. Is it any wonder I give up. What I need to find is my determination, I need to feel inside myself that this is as important to me as my grandkids. And no even being able to keep up with my grandkids is not a motivation that has worked. I need the motivation to care and I just don't.
See that is the long and short of it... I don't care if I live or die and if truth be told I really just want to die but I'm too much of a coward to do it a quick way, so I am killing myself by inches and have been for 30+ years ever since I had a mental breakdown at 22. My 21st and 22nd year were full of horrors which lead to a mental breakdown. I was 25 before I began to see any light in my self again. That self was cobbled together from the bits and pieces I was able to collect from the person I was before. That is a story for another day and I think that is enough writing for today