Going by the definition I wrote last time that would be places I feel complete and one with the world.
The first one is easy here in my tiny jr one bedroom with just me, my cats and my computer that feels perfect. I am not responsible for anyone else or anything except making sure life is good for me and my cats.
In the summer there is a cafe on the river where I feel peaceful and content. A cup of coffee and a bite, my e-reader in my hand and all is right with the world. I can listen to the river or the conversations around me and I feel complete.
I am realizing that the third place I feel whole is dependent on the people I'm with then the place where I am, often the place causes stress of a sort but then I look at my daughter and her children or feel and hear the Professor and I am at peace within myself again. They are my family and my legacy, it is enough.
If I looked deep down to the very depths of who I am, I trust that I would find:
- Courage, personal strength
- Curiosity about the world and everything in it
- An ability to speak what I now only write
- A person worth taking the time and having the patience to know
- A loyal friend
All of these are standard replies to the question who am I, yet to find this person first you have to get through my walls. Patiently deal with me breaking appointments hours before I am supposed to appear dozens of times. To get to this person you would have to be comfortable with silence or to be willing and able to carry a whole conversation mostly on your own. More difficult is that you would have to initiate the whole process because I am so scared of rejection that I seldom take the first step in making friends preferring others to take the first step in that dance.
If you have the patience to see the process repeated often due to the fluctuating nature of my world view and my marked reluctance to leave my apartment for more than a few hours a month I am a true and loyal friend that is fairly good at listening and great at giving hugs.