Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Chasing dreams

LOL such a fanciful title and not indicative of where my mind is right now, least I don't think it is.

I heard myself say "I like routine" today. If you have been following my blog for awhile or read any of my earlier posts you will know how strange that seemed to me.

I have, since I was old enough to walk on my own, been an explorer, curiosity has always been my biggest failing.

Is it a failing? Not so much but it has lead me down some interesting paths in the last 50 odd years. So when did I decide I needed to have a routine to be comfortable? Not sure about that either.

It may have begun when the fibro cut me off of most of the activities I liked. Exploring Toronto was just about the happiest I'd ever been. The last day I felt that way sticks in my head still.

I'd started out with a map and a plan. I was excited because it was a trail I'd never been on before. I don't know how long I walked before my back began giving me trouble but I do know that by the time I found a bus stop my back was a frozen, muscle locked, deep pain. The bus ride home was excruciating and I popped four Tylenol when I did get there. Plus a lot more and had a hot shower before the pain finally reached a reasonable level.

That was when I made an appointment with my doctor. That visit was when he diagnosed me with Fibro and proved it by giving me an example with one of my arms. I had been having pain off and on for awhile and fatigue had always been an issues because of the Dysthimia, I just figured it was normal for a 47 year old with depression issues. Since then I have been babying myself, not pushing my body in any way because I feared that pain.

When menopause started a couple of years later I lost my interest in sex which for 30 odd years had been my central focus. I found myself getting scatterbrained spending whole weeks just playing Farmville and Solitaire on my computer. I was 53 or 54 when I decided enough was enough and I started concentrating on creating daily routines so I did other things besides play games and read.

Now ten years later I'm at a point where I feel I need to change things up a little more. Physical activity for exercise is boring but this past week I rediscovered my happiness in exploring. During a business trip with the Professor I found that seeing new places and doing new things actually cheered me up and gave me a bit of my youthful glow back.

Obviously travelling on my own is a bit problematic but nothing says I cant't start checking out the trails around here and going into parts of the city where I haven't spent much time. All I gotta do is allow my curiosity to guide me once again. Besides the places I knew have all changed and I would like to see how.

The doctor will be pleased he's been after me to get more active since obesity was diagnosed as a disease. Yeah I'm obese, the scale says I am 100 pounds heavier than I should be. Not sure what that is in kilos I never really bothered to learn the metric system.

Anyway that's my thoughts for today ... hope you are having a good one

No comments:

Post a Comment

Please Share!