I can picture the life I want to live and the way I want to live it. Its so simple really get up at 8am, make coffee and spend an hour writing my morning pages and to a penpal or two. Get dressed, make my bed, brush my teeth, eat breakfast and take my medication.
Put on my shoes or boots and go for a walk down to the creek or the river or wherever I need to go for my chores that day.
When I get back do my housekeeping chores: sweep the floor, quick clean the bathroom, get the stuff ready for lunch and dinner.
During lunch I would read.
After lunch some stretching or something, do the breakfast and lunch dishes, start prepping dinner
Spend a couple of hours sewing or knitting or some other handcraft and another couple on my swaps or special projects while catching up on some videos
Finish and eat dinner, do the dishes, clean the stove and counter Then spend the rest of the day playing with my journals, or my dolls or just surfing. When 8pm comes take my night time meds, shower and change into PJ's. Play my daily card games, read another couple of chapters in my current book then into bed at midnight.
So what stops me from living this life? I've asked the question before and like before I have no answer other than a ingrained laziness and lets face it an addiction to living in the virtual world rather than the real one.
I am fully capable of living that life, if I can see it I can do it, if I can get past the inertia that is holding me back
I remember swearing I would never let myself get old before my time but I have done exactly that, now I am trying to find my way back to my healthier more energetic self. She went away when my mother died and was just coming back when my father died so I have hope. Maybe this year... even if the first quarter is already gone, I still have three more to make it out of this shithole I've dug for myself.