No Idea

 If I asked you to run away with me would you? Before you answer there are conditions: You would have to leave your job, your home and your family. Before you ask, I would be doing the same. You would only be able to bring one laptop and enough clothes for a week There would be no plan other than to hop on a bus to Toronto and then grab the first train leaving the station. Would you run away with me? I am confident what you would say but I still needed to ask the question. Sometime in the next two years I am going to do just that. I am so done with this town. I am done living my life the way I "should", I want to live my life the way I want. I thought maybe some land and a house were all I would need to be happy. I had that with you and look where we are now. Living different lives in different cities and both of us content with that for the most part. Except that I am no longer content, my feet have been getting itcher and itcher for the past couple of years. I don't thi

  What is this weird feeling The above page at the New Yorker explores something that post covid is affecting a lot of people myself included. I have suffered with dysthymia since around the age of 13 but this year the apathetic side seems to have taken over. Last time that happened it was summer and I was 8 months pregnant. I sleep a lot like 18 hours a day something I didn't used to do, except once in awhile when I'd been pushing myself hard. All the projects I was working on have lost interest and I keep looking for ways to remove them from sight because I don't feel like I'm ever going to be interested enough in them to finish them. Everything I thought I was is gone and I have no idea how to find myself again, the last time that happened it took me several years to build a life from the ashes of the old one. I do not know where to begin even. With breast cancer still a question of what comes next I am feeling even more lost. And tired, and sad and generally in an I

 1) This blog was a creative outlet for many years but times change and so have I 2) I would like to continue using it but at this point in time it is hardly being used 3) I can either keep this blog and the others or delete them 4) My creative brain is currently empty and I need to find a way to either refill it or give creativity up at least until I can fill it again. 5) For the moment the jury is out but I will revisit this idea again in a month or two.