December 30, 2023

 After doing this for so many years you would think I would know the steps but I deleted all the old stuff and instead of researching it to find a form I'm just going with it.

My word at the beginning of the year was thrive. I have done that even if it doesn't feel that way some days.

I saw 199lbs on my scale again so I know I can get there but I returned to 207lbs within a couple of days. Since this is the second time I have seen 199lbs on the scale (a year apart but still) I know it is possible. I just need to alter my mental perception as I did when I reached 220lbs.

Your body gets used to a weight and if you get below that weight your body demands more food so you get back to where it is comfortable not where you want to be. I am aware of it this year, I watched as my body suddenly started pushing me to eat more and not being prepared for it's stubbornness I allowed it its way.

The next time I see 199lbs on the scale I'm gonna pay attention and mentally direct my body to accept this as the norm. Once I'm there and have been for 6 months then I will set the next goal as 175lbs.. It has taken me nearly 20 years to go from 245lbs to 207lbs so it may take another 20 years to get to the 110-115 lbs where I should be for my height and bone structure. In the end I will be happy with 125-135lbs, at least that will get me out of the morbidly obese category I'm in right now.

Right back to "Thrive".

 I initiated a walking program for myself, it still in an on again. off again kind of thing but it is consistent in that at least once a week I go outside and walk around my building because I can't not. My plan is to make it a daily thing but it will be slow once the ice comes because I am so scared of falling. 

I switched from cooking for myself to Meals on Wheels which give me balanced meals at about 300 calories per meal.

HMM, I never really looked at that before, I only eat 2 of those a day which is way too few calories in a day. 1500 calories is the base I was looking for and they only give me 600-700 per day. I have been eating a lot of bread and crackers again to fill the hole I didn't realize was in my diet plan.That might be why I'm holding that weight. I need to jump start my metabolism again! Ok research topic one: Metabolism and you :)

I have traveled quite a bit this year and that is always fun. I hope to do more of that in the year coming. I think there is still a trip to BC that needs done, I may also get E to take me with him when he does Barrie or some of the other Ontario sites that aren't here (Peterborough). I am also hopeful for more road trips and maybe a one nighter here & there. (Sat-Sun). The other thing is that now that I am able to stay at his place from time to time we might go explore Casa Loma & the Aquarium and other places in the GTA.

What else? I reduced my clothing to just enough for two weeks before I have to do laundry. My style is changing again I am back in black a lot of the time. That may change but I don't think so, I am comfortable in tights & t-shirts. Once upon a time I had a very basic color scheme black & blue, then I added red and the blue got replaced with purple. I do like the red-black-purple colour scheme. For now I will use what I have but that may be research topic two- 25 piece wardrobe in black & red with purple accessories LOL that a bit more specific than I expected to be at this stage.

All in all even with the deep depression during the year I have made progress in thriving.

Other things I started this year that I want to finish:

1) learning how and making a short animation

2) AI from the basics of making published items in particular art creation, and writing help.

3) Eliminating 75% of my UFO and other projects

4) reorganize my bedroom so that it becomes a sleeping place and sick room only

5) become independent (I am aware that is vague but standing up for myself sounds even worse)

A few things I need to do:

1) get back in the habit of blood tests and teeth cleanings every three months

2) get my ass to the optometrist to get my eyes tested and new glasses

3) Decide if I want to get the partial and if it isn't too late order it ($1700) 

4) take a closer look at my diet and make sure a) I'm not starving myself;  b) Review what I am eating and what is healthy and what needs changed?

5) keep on keeping on with the weight loss stuff.

Tomorrow I will be going through the lists and looking for my word of the year as well as formalizing my goals for 2024.

December 29th 2023

 So it's that time of year again. A few major positives this year and a couple of bad ones.

The Good Stuff:

I had several of my bucket list items come true this year:

• I flew on an airplane for the first time. I admit it's a lot of stuff to go through to get to the plane but the ride itself was super. I even had a window seat on the way to Calgary. 
• I have always wanted to spend some time at the Calgary Stampede and this year I got to spend several hours on the fairground and I watched a couple of chuckwagon races. Maybe next time I'll get to see some of the trick-riding and the bull-riding stuff which are the other two things I'm interested in.
• I have always wanted to see West Edmonton Mall and we spent a couple of hours wandering around there.
• I got to see Joseph on stage!

Plus a lot of other good stuff happened:

• We went to Canmore and I got to see the Three Sisters (Mountains in Alberta, I always thought it was all flat country)
• We took a road trip during the color change in the fall and I got some lovely photos
• I rediscovered my love for Photography and treated myself to Photoshop and I'm having a blast with it.
• I have always wished I could draw the images I get in my mind and this year in December I discovered the power of AI as an artists tool and have been able to recreate a few of the images and gotten new ideas along the way.
• I got to see my sister for a few hours for the first time in three years, sadly I was not feeling myself so it wasn't an overly long visit.

of course a few bad things happened:

• one of the worst ones happened in the summer and it sent me into as deep a depression as I have had in years. I'm still recovering from it but I feel I'm doing a bit better than I did from August to November.
• my hips and left shoulder have developed some type of Arthritis I think, Whatever it is it hurts on top of the Fibro
• We put Coco Chanel to sleep which added to the depression. I do not know if her death was the triggering event or if it was my visit to the graveyard, or if it was something else entirely. All I know is that I was sad all fall and it is still going on.

With all that time stuff, my sense of time is out of kilter apparently I've been in this particular depression since last year so the trigger must have been the breast cancer and all the stuff that went with it. GD#3, the cousins at the graveyard, putting Coco to sleep they all came after that.

I am hoping it is lifting and I'll get some of my old self back but I got a feeling that that Cheryl is gone and I'm going to have to build myself anew.

Reporting In

 I bought myself a Birthday gift, it is a bit expensive but considering the works I have done in just this past month I am I'm ok with that.

Since October was also my wedding anniversary I treated myself to an option that is proving invaluable. I used Photoshop almost exclusively for awhile but then switched back to Paintshop Pro for a bit. When I found all of the Adobe applications were available for 81 bucks a month I grabbed it, we are talking something that can run to $200 or $300 a month otherwise. That was my birthday present to myself, my anniversary gift to myself cost another $45 per month. It is the Creative Assets portion of Photoshop and it has thousands of images on it plus the AI Dream-up which allows you to use words to describe what you want in a image and creates it for you, fantabulous!

https://www.deviantart.com/cherylann1960 to check it out