January 1st 2024

 Yesterday was a travel day so I didn't do much, today I'm making up for it. Most of the work goes in my writing journal, that way I can get my words straight and understandable. My brain is fragmenting fairly regularly these days which makes quickly writing anything problematic.

So Goals fist, they are not resolutions as that indicates temporary plans, goals gives the result required with the steps for it to happen. Making them much more likely to be completed.

Goals:

1) Weight loss is still high priority to reduce my sugar levels, cholesterol levels and ease the wear and tear on my joints which have been steadily getting worse.

a) a daily walk through my building (this includes several sets of stairs), once I have timed it and checked the steps I will know how many times I'll have to do it in a day.

b) a concentration on low GI foods while eating around 1400 calories per day. - MOW provides around 500 calories per day so I will be continuing them but I'm going to have to add the other 900 calories which means I will be doing some cooking.

c) Once a week spend 2 hours outside. Taking pictures should make this fairly easy. To set it firmly I will make Wednesday my outside day, a start time of 11 am. If I schedule it I will do it

2) Homemaking is the second most important thing I need to focus on. It includes cleaning, organizing and cooking.

a) The Flylady approach with her concentration on surface clean vs deep clean still rings as the easiest thing for me to do. The link above will take you to the page where she lists all her routines rather than me waste space with them here. Her plan is the one I will follow again this year.

b) Organizing is a big issue for me first because I live in a bachelor, and second because I am happiest when I have plenty of floor room to move around on.  There are several web sites I access for monthly plans on what to get rid of but my favourite is Declutter 365. It has some self-care things as well as other Declutter ideas. Decluttering in the only way I've found for me to organize things.

c) I've gotten out of the habit of cooking for myself and as mentioned in #1 I need to overhaul my diet somehow. Cooking for myself is one way to do this. If nothing else I'll be able to control the number of substances entering my body. I only have one recipe site I use and that is because as their name states they are all recipes and nothing but recipes, they have also sorted them into categories so if you know what meal, what the main ingredient is, etc you will find a category.

3) Education while not necessary keeps my mind engaged and challenges me to do more than just read all day. I have been challenging my mind because I fear Dementia and I will fight against it as much as possible. There are three areas that I am concentrating on right now, they are ChatGPS/AI, Creation within Adobe and writing.

a) ChatGPS/AI: This is the base I want to work with in both art creation and writing. It is only recently came into my view and I am enjoying playing with it but I want to get better. I want to get good enough that I can create original collages that look interesting. I am less sure how it can help with writing but if it helps me to get either Woulf or My Poetry completed this year I'm right there.

b) Creation within Adobe I want to be skilled on the Adobe platform. My aim is still to create an animation short and up until recently I've been taking the long way but this year I want to focus on Animate & their other animation tools within the other apps.

c) Between the AI generating images and words to fill in where my own skills don't, the Adobe Assets for Indesign and other publishing applications my goal this year is to finish the design of the poetry book and create a short story about Woulf. Probably a picture book perhaps a graphic novel but that depends on what I learn.

There are other categories that may be part of  your goals list but these are my 3 main ones. I have been writing for a few hours it seems between here and my notebook so I'm taking a break.

December 30, 2023

 After doing this for so many years you would think I would know the steps but I deleted all the old stuff and instead of researching it to find a form I'm just going with it.

My word at the beginning of the year was thrive. I have done that even if it doesn't feel that way some days.

I saw 199lbs on my scale again so I know I can get there but I returned to 207lbs within a couple of days. Since this is the second time I have seen 199lbs on the scale (a year apart but still) I know it is possible. I just need to alter my mental perception as I did when I reached 220lbs.

Your body gets used to a weight and if you get below that weight your body demands more food so you get back to where it is comfortable not where you want to be. I am aware of it this year, I watched as my body suddenly started pushing me to eat more and not being prepared for it's stubbornness I allowed it its way.

The next time I see 199lbs on the scale I'm gonna pay attention and mentally direct my body to accept this as the norm. Once I'm there and have been for 6 months then I will set the next goal as 175lbs.. It has taken me nearly 20 years to go from 245lbs to 207lbs so it may take another 20 years to get to the 110-115 lbs where I should be for my height and bone structure. In the end I will be happy with 125-135lbs, at least that will get me out of the morbidly obese category I'm in right now.

Right back to "Thrive".

 I initiated a walking program for myself, it still in an on again. off again kind of thing but it is consistent in that at least once a week I go outside and walk around my building because I can't not. My plan is to make it a daily thing but it will be slow once the ice comes because I am so scared of falling. 

I switched from cooking for myself to Meals on Wheels which give me balanced meals at about 300 calories per meal.

HMM, I never really looked at that before, I only eat 2 of those a day which is way too few calories in a day. 1500 calories is the base I was looking for and they only give me 600-700 per day. I have been eating a lot of bread and crackers again to fill the hole I didn't realize was in my diet plan.That might be why I'm holding that weight. I need to jump start my metabolism again! Ok research topic one: Metabolism and you :)

I have traveled quite a bit this year and that is always fun. I hope to do more of that in the year coming. I think there is still a trip to BC that needs done, I may also get E to take me with him when he does Barrie or some of the other Ontario sites that aren't here (Peterborough). I am also hopeful for more road trips and maybe a one nighter here & there. (Sat-Sun). The other thing is that now that I am able to stay at his place from time to time we might go explore Casa Loma & the Aquarium and other places in the GTA.

What else? I reduced my clothing to just enough for two weeks before I have to do laundry. My style is changing again I am back in black a lot of the time. That may change but I don't think so, I am comfortable in tights & t-shirts. Once upon a time I had a very basic color scheme black & blue, then I added red and the blue got replaced with purple. I do like the red-black-purple colour scheme. For now I will use what I have but that may be research topic two- 25 piece wardrobe in black & red with purple accessories LOL that a bit more specific than I expected to be at this stage.

All in all even with the deep depression during the year I have made progress in thriving.

Other things I started this year that I want to finish:

1) learning how and making a short animation

2) AI from the basics of making published items in particular art creation, and writing help.

3) Eliminating 75% of my UFO and other projects

4) reorganize my bedroom so that it becomes a sleeping place and sick room only

5) become independent (I am aware that is vague but standing up for myself sounds even worse)

A few things I need to do:

1) get back in the habit of blood tests and teeth cleanings every three months

2) get my ass to the optometrist to get my eyes tested and new glasses

3) Decide if I want to get the partial and if it isn't too late order it ($1700) 

4) take a closer look at my diet and make sure a) I'm not starving myself;  b) Review what I am eating and what is healthy and what needs changed?

5) keep on keeping on with the weight loss stuff.

Tomorrow I will be going through the lists and looking for my word of the year as well as formalizing my goals for 2024.

December 29th 2023

 So it's that time of year again. A few major positives this year and a couple of bad ones.

The Good Stuff:

I had several of my bucket list items come true this year:

• I flew on an airplane for the first time. I admit it's a lot of stuff to go through to get to the plane but the ride itself was super. I even had a window seat on the way to Calgary. 
• I have always wanted to spend some time at the Calgary Stampede and this year I got to spend several hours on the fairground and I watched a couple of chuckwagon races. Maybe next time I'll get to see some of the trick-riding and the bull-riding stuff which are the other two things I'm interested in.
• I have always wanted to see West Edmonton Mall and we spent a couple of hours wandering around there.
• I got to see Joseph on stage!

Plus a lot of other good stuff happened:

• We went to Canmore and I got to see the Three Sisters (Mountains in Alberta, I always thought it was all flat country)
• We took a road trip during the color change in the fall and I got some lovely photos
• I rediscovered my love for Photography and treated myself to Photoshop and I'm having a blast with it.
• I have always wished I could draw the images I get in my mind and this year in December I discovered the power of AI as an artists tool and have been able to recreate a few of the images and gotten new ideas along the way.
• I got to see my sister for a few hours for the first time in three years, sadly I was not feeling myself so it wasn't an overly long visit.

of course a few bad things happened:

• one of the worst ones happened in the summer and it sent me into as deep a depression as I have had in years. I'm still recovering from it but I feel I'm doing a bit better than I did from August to November.
• my hips and left shoulder have developed some type of Arthritis I think, Whatever it is it hurts on top of the Fibro
• We put Coco Chanel to sleep which added to the depression. I do not know if her death was the triggering event or if it was my visit to the graveyard, or if it was something else entirely. All I know is that I was sad all fall and it is still going on.

With all that time stuff, my sense of time is out of kilter apparently I've been in this particular depression since last year so the trigger must have been the breast cancer and all the stuff that went with it. GD#3, the cousins at the graveyard, putting Coco to sleep they all came after that.

I am hoping it is lifting and I'll get some of my old self back but I got a feeling that that Cheryl is gone and I'm going to have to build myself anew.