No Idea

 Looking toward 2026, I know one thing for sure. I do not want another year to drift by without intention. I am tired of feeling lost and disconnected from my own life. This is not about dramatic reinvention or chasing some ideal version of myself. It is about choosing steadier ground and building something livable, one small decision at a time. Age has been echoing loudly in my head lately. Sixty five feels heavy, not because it is old, but because it comes with awareness. There is time left, real time, and what I do with it matters. That realization is uncomfortable, but it is also clarifying. I do not want to spend the coming years frozen in place by fear, exhaustion, or habit. If I am going to move forward, I need to do it deliberately. Health is an unavoidable part of that picture. Not in a perfectionist or punishing way, but in a practical one. I want to walk regularly, in all kinds of weather. I want to use my weights to build strength and practice yoga or gentle stretching ...

I was going through my blog recently and realized something important: December 2024 came and went without any kind of year in review. At the time, I did not think much of it, but looking back now I can see how much that missing pause mattered. I do not function well without some kind of plan or reflection, and this past year really shows that. Skipping that moment of looking back may be one reason I have felt so lost moving through 2025. When I reread my posts from early 2025, I noticed something else too. Things are better in some ways, yet emotionally I am still close to where I was in January. Winter has always pulled me inward, and December and January seem to amplify everything. I know this is common and that many people struggle more in the colder, darker months, but it always feels heavier when it is happening to you personally. Awareness does not stop the feeling, but it does help me name it. This past year carried a lot of emotional weight, especially around family milestones...

 The last one read like the manifesto of a suicide I know but I am not one of those. I've just been going through a rough patch. Something  else is on my mind today and has been for awhile. Winter gives you nothing but time to think and December especially seems like a month for introspection what with the season of good will towards men turning into the lead up for a brand new year. For years I started this process right after my birthday in October but with all the shit I'm dealing with to get myself set up for the next 20-40 years,(turning 65 is no fun), I have just barely started the process. A long time ago a doctor told me that obesity is a long slow death so that it what I chose but these days I am actually unhappy with my weight because it has begun to interfere with the thing I like best like travelling to new places and exploring them. I have become more and more unhappy with myself over the last couple of months.  It has got to the point that I order in my groc...

  The celebration of spunky old broads was created as a  month-long holiday  by Dr. Gayle Carson, and the first day of the celebration has also become Spunky Old Broads Day. Carson, a coach and advisor to CEOs and entrepreneurial managers around the world, who focuses on helping older women in particular, thought that the words spunky, old, and broad all had negative connotations, and decided to put them together to create something positive, coming up with Spunky Old Broads (SOBs). The day and month celebrate women 50 and older who don't want to get old quietly, and "who are interested in living a regret-free life." She chose February, as that is her birth month. How to Observe Spunky Old Broads Day If you are a woman over 50, spend the day living life to the fullest. Get out of your house and refuse to be quiet. Reinvigorate the spunkiness in your soul and do something you've never done before. If you aren't a woman or are a woman who is not over 50, you can cel...

 Yesterday was a travel day so I didn't do much, today I'm making up for it. Most of the work goes in my writing journal, that way I can get my words straight and understandable. My brain is fragmenting fairly regularly these days which makes quickly writing anything problematic. So Goals fist, they are not resolutions as that indicates temporary plans, goals gives the result required with the steps for it to happen. Making them much more likely to be completed. Goals: 1) Weight loss is still high priority to reduce my sugar levels, cholesterol levels and ease the wear and tear on my joints which have been steadily getting worse. a) a daily walk through my building (this includes several sets of stairs), once I have timed it and checked the steps I will know how many times I'll have to do it in a day. b) a concentration on low GI foods while eating around 1400 calories per day. - MOW provides around 500 calories per day so I will be continuing them but I'm going to have...

 After doing this for so many years you would think I would know the steps but I deleted all the old stuff and instead of researching it to find a form I'm just going with it. My word at the beginning of the year was thrive. I have done that even if it doesn't feel that way some days. I saw 199lbs on my scale again so I know I can get there but I returned to 207lbs within a couple of days. Since this is the second time I have seen 199lbs on the scale (a year apart but still) I know it is possible. I just need to alter my mental perception as I did when I reached 220lbs. Your body gets used to a weight and if you get below that weight your body demands more food so you get back to where it is comfortable not where you want to be. I am aware of it this year, I watched as my body suddenly started pushing me to eat more and not being prepared for it's stubbornness I allowed it its way. The next time I see 199lbs on the scale I'm gonna pay attention and mentally direct my bo...

 So it's that time of year again. A few major positives this year and a couple of bad ones. The Good Stuff: I had several of my bucket list items come true this year: I flew on an airplane for the first time. I admit it's a lot of stuff to go through to get to the plane but the ride itself was super. I even had a window seat on the way to Calgary.  I have always wanted to spend some time at the Calgary Stampede and this year I got to spend several hours on the fairground and I watched a couple of chuckwagon races. Maybe next time I'll get to see some of the trick-riding and the bull-riding stuff which are the other two things I'm interested in. I have always wanted to see West Edmonton Mall and we spent a couple of hours wandering around there. I got to see Joseph on stage! Plus a lot of other good stuff happened: We went to Canmore and I got to see the Three Sisters (Mountains in Alberta, I always thought it was all flat country) We took a road trip during the color ch...