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Apathy

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 What is this weird feeling

The above page at the New Yorker explores something that post covid is affecting a lot of people myself included. I have suffered with dysthymia since around the age of 13 but this year the apathetic side seems to have taken over. Last time that happened it was summer and I was 8 months pregnant.

I sleep a lot like 18 hours a day something I didn't used to do, except once in awhile when I'd been pushing myself hard.

All the projects I was working on have lost interest and I keep looking for ways to remove them from sight because I don't feel like I'm ever going to be interested enough in them to finish them.

Everything I thought I was is gone and I have no idea how to find myself again, the last time that happened it took me several years to build a life from the ashes of the old one.

I do not know where to begin even. With breast cancer still a question of what comes next I am feeling even more lost.

And tired, and sad and generally in an I don't care about anyone or anything mood.

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