No Idea

 Last night all I could think about was getting out of this town and going to someplace safe and quiet.  Funny enough when I went searching for safe and affordable Peterborough was actually on the list and yes the list was new as of June 2022. Kinda surprised to find that we are actually pretty safe here despite all the stuff going on. I was watching Tik Tok and this guy was jogging down a street in Vancouver, there were literally dozens of tents and homeless all along the street. Made me realize that we do have it pretty good here even with the rents doubling in the last six months. I would rather not leave Ontario but the cheapest rents are in Quebec and one of the eastern provinces, I can't remember which one off the top of my head. This is scary Maybe I'll find a way to curb the urge to run away for awhile.

 If I asked you to run away with me would you? Before you answer there are conditions: You would have to leave your job, your home and your family. Before you ask, I would be doing the same. You would only be able to bring one laptop and enough clothes for a week There would be no plan other than to hop on a bus to Toronto and then grab the first train leaving the station. Would you run away with me? I am confident what you would say but I still needed to ask the question. Sometime in the next two years I am going to do just that. I am so done with this town. I am done living my life the way I "should", I want to live my life the way I want. I thought maybe some land and a house were all I would need to be happy. I had that with you and look where we are now. Living different lives in different cities and both of us content with that for the most part. Except that I am no longer content, my feet have been getting itcher and itcher for the past couple of years. I don't thi

  What is this weird feeling The above page at the New Yorker explores something that post covid is affecting a lot of people myself included. I have suffered with dysthymia since around the age of 13 but this year the apathetic side seems to have taken over. Last time that happened it was summer and I was 8 months pregnant. I sleep a lot like 18 hours a day something I didn't used to do, except once in awhile when I'd been pushing myself hard. All the projects I was working on have lost interest and I keep looking for ways to remove them from sight because I don't feel like I'm ever going to be interested enough in them to finish them. Everything I thought I was is gone and I have no idea how to find myself again, the last time that happened it took me several years to build a life from the ashes of the old one. I do not know where to begin even. With breast cancer still a question of what comes next I am feeling even more lost. And tired, and sad and generally in an I

 1) This blog was a creative outlet for many years but times change and so have I 2) I would like to continue using it but at this point in time it is hardly being used 3) I can either keep this blog and the others or delete them 4) My creative brain is currently empty and I need to find a way to either refill it or give creativity up at least until I can fill it again. 5) For the moment the jury is out but I will revisit this idea again in a month or two.