No Idea

 Good Neighbour A good neighbour lends a hand where ever they can To each blown around grain of humanity A simple smile or a sudden hug for no reason So easy, a free expression of compassion A cup of water or a 1 litre bottle Can make a huge difference. This is my lament Why are people such assholes To give a homeless person A place to rest for an hour or two Maybe the difference for them Between dying quick or slow A small helping hand On a hot, hot day So simple, so easy Essentially forgotten A blanket or a plastic bag the difference between a good night and a bad one I could go on but the sadness is hitting me really hard. The landlords called the cops to remove some of the resters and I got into a disagreement with a police officer. Now I think he thinks I'm a dealer but thats ok he can spend the day out there if he wants, I will do what I want to do.

 Yeah! What started out as a working trip has turned into a holiday for E so I am looking much more forward to it. The plan as it stands now is that he will be here on the 28th, On the 29th we will be heading out to Ottawa. He asked me if there was anyplace I'd like to stop on the way. I haven't answered him yet but I will today. Found several places of interest on the routes offered but which I get to see is for E to decide as he is the driver July 1st: LeBreton Flats Park for the daytime ceremony, from noon to 1:15 pm ( ET ). The daytime ceremony kicks off the national celebrations with a look at our past, present and future. It underlines important anniversaries and themes while recognizing the diversity of our country. You’ll also have a chance to see the Canada Day Royal Canadian Air Force Centennial Flypast! I had plans but due to a mis-step I ended up hurting my calve  which meant that I wasn't able to do nearly as much walking as I planned.  Instead we stayed in

 So it is almost mid summer, tomorrow in fact. Should I celebrate the longest day of the year? I'd love to but I do not have a place I can do that. I seldom regret that I don't own a house but really I'm 63 what would be the point except as something to give my kids to sell when I die. Still I miss being able to decorate the front porch for what ever holiday was up next, I miss being able to have a barbecue and a bonfire on the back patio. Sometimes, like today when such an important sun day is coming but other than that I can do without the hassle of home ownership. An in-law apartment somewhere yeah I could do that and gladly but a house with all the maintenance stuff uh uh. I need to figure out who I am again, or  I can  just do what I please as I please and see where it takes me. I'm afraid that will make me an enemy of some dangerous people but I really don't care. They want respect they gotta show others respect, I've tried but all I seem to do is clean up

 I can't shake the feeling I am going to be homeless soon and I don't know that I am ready for that. Why do I feel that way, I'm not sure but I have the feeling just the same. It seems that troubles keep piling up and I can hardly breathe for all the things I feel responsible for.  I am not supposed to be responsible for anyone or anything except myself, supposed to be so. I cry a lot inside myself, the dythymia is jumping all over the place, some days I feel manic other days it's a chore to get out of bed. Stuff comes out of my mouth that I would not say if I were in my normal mindset  and the cloying air chokes me. I go off on people for no real reason except that they have said or done something to piss me off. The worst part for me is seeing myself do these things and being unable to stop myself. This is my third iteration of myself or maybe the fourth and I do not like myself but it feels like I have stuff from a long time ago cropping up and I get that person was

 i needed an open forum to work through a few things. I began to cry today just because a friend that I yelled at yelled back. i know i tend to just jump into things with both feet said friend assumed that because I was leaving and didn't know where I would end up and that E wouldn't be with me and made an indecent proposal. I said no cause I may be leaving first e will join me as soon as he is able to. this is what we have discussed. I did not realize just how sensitive I was to being yelled at. I went about it the wrong way obviously by shouting but him shouting back shook me to my core. no one has shouted at me in a long time & now I can't get the tears to stop I always knew I didn't like conflict but I also realize that something is changing in my brain and I am angry a lot.  I knew this feeling a long time ago I think before I went through a car accident and a total mental breakdown. I yell rather than go cold like I trained myself to do a long time ago. if thi

 Getting up at 6 am is ungodly early but we had to leave by 7 am to get to the airport on time. We went to the airport by Lyft so that wasn't so bad and he was able to get us there well within our window.  One good thing to know about travelling by plane, put your ticket on your phone because you have to show it at least 5 times before you get on the plane. You will also need some kind of ID to get on the plane. As an unseasoned traveller I have a lot to learn, this is only my second time flying. Next time maybe I'll fly east instead of west. E has been talking about driving there but he is our only driver so it will take a week or more to drive there to allow him adequate rest time. We have a couple of trips in the works but as E is fond of reminding me all the good things in life cost money. And this trip cost him $1000 dollars to bring me. He figures I should know, so I will be suitably grateful. Wow I am in a cynical mood today, I hope I am not turning into a grumpy old lad