Skip to main content

December 29th 2023

Image
By

 So it's that time of year again. A few major positives this year and a couple of bad ones.

The Good Stuff:

I had several of my bucket list items come true this year:

  • I flew on an airplane for the first time. I admit it's a lot of stuff to go through to get to the plane but the ride itself was super. I even had a window seat on the way to Calgary. 
  • I have always wanted to spend some time at the Calgary Stampede and this year I got to spend several hours on the fairground and I watched a couple of chuckwagon races. Maybe next time I'll get to see some of the trick-riding and the bull-riding stuff which are the other two things I'm interested in.
  • I have always wanted to see West Edmonton Mall and we spent a couple of hours wandering around there.
  • I got to see Joseph on stage!
Plus a lot of other good stuff happened:
  • We went to Canmore and I got to see the Three Sisters (Mountains in Alberta, I always thought it was all flat country)
  • We took a road trip during the color change in the fall and I got some lovely photos
  • I rediscovered my love for Photography and treated myself to Photoshop and I'm having a blast with it.
  • I have always wished I could draw the images I get in my mind and this year in December I discovered the power of AI as an artists tool and have been able to recreate a few of the images and gotten new ideas along the way.
  • I got to see my sister for a few hours for the first time in three years, sadly I was not feeling myself so it wasn't an overly long visit.
of course a few bad things happened:
  • one of the worst ones happened in the summer and it sent me into as deep a depression as I have had in years. I'm still recovering from it but I feel I'm doing a bit better than I did from August to November.
  • my hips and left shoulder have developed some type of Arthritis I think, Whatever it is it hurts on top of the Fibro
  • We put Coco Chanel to sleep which added to the depression. I do not know if her death was the triggering event or if it was my visit to the graveyard, or if it was something else entirely. All I know is that I was sad all fall and it is still going on.
With all that time stuff, my sense of time is out of kilter apparently I've been in this particular depression since last year so the trigger must have been the breast cancer and all the stuff that went with it. GD#3, the cousins at the graveyard, putting Coco to sleep they all came after that.

I am hoping it is lifting and I'll get some of my old self back but I got a feeling that that Cheryl is gone and I'm going to have to build myself anew.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Rest Assured I'm still here

By
 Albeit tired in a way I can not describe well but I will try. November was a quiet month with very little going on and was just what I needed after such a busy summer. I am still feeling off but that may have been because I had what I think was a mini-stroke just at the end of November then December brought GD#3 back full-time. The shakes are steadily getting worse and the headaches are back. It has been awhile since I felt so tense and afraid. It could just be a stress headache but I keep coming back to the massive one I had the night before I got checked out for the stroke. It frightens me but it shouldn't I used to get them a lot last winter, it's because our radiators blow warm, dry air and it dries me out. The thing is even drinking water does not seem to help much. My guess is that I am very dehydrated from the heaters, with the added stress of Christmas and GD#3, all of which add up to "I don't feel so good". Add the mini-stroke stuff and winter arriving a...
1 comment
Read more

Perhaps I was a little hasty...

By
 Last night all I could think about was getting out of this town and going to someplace safe and quiet.  Funny enough when I went searching for safe and affordable Peterborough was actually on the list and yes the list was new as of June 2022. Kinda surprised to find that we are actually pretty safe here despite all the stuff going on. I was watching Tik Tok and this guy was jogging down a street in Vancouver, there were literally dozens of tents and homeless all along the street. Made me realize that we do have it pretty good here even with the rents doubling in the last six months. I would rather not leave Ontario but the cheapest rents are in Quebec and one of the eastern provinces, I can't remember which one off the top of my head. This is scary Maybe I'll find a way to curb the urge to run away for awhile.
1 comment
Read more

Time

By
 I've missed a couple of days because I am not feeling well at all. I want to blame the rain but that I think is only part of it. I do not like where I am in my head right now so I figure if I write it down maybe it will stop bothering me. E once again denied me permission to move back in with him even though he says that he misses me when he is back there. At this point I have had enough, he says he loves me but that is not shown in his reactions. I am aware that I really don't have the right to live with him and I understand that after I left twice he doesn't trust me but if that is so why does he not just kick me out of his life once and for all. I have tangled him tight in the family drama I live with but he is more than capable of backing off and going his own way. Some days I wish he would, other days I don't know what I would do without his financial protection especially when it come to medications and stuff. I would manage without the phone I think as that is t...
1 comment
Read more