No Idea

 I have a very fundamental belief that there is good in everyone from the hardened criminal to the most difficult child. I find it impossible to give up on anyone no matter how they behave or talk. It is a difficult thing trying to embody love in this day and age yet it is exactly what I am driven to do. Yes driven, if I can help anyone even the homeless and the drug addict then that is what I do. My grand-daughter is a difficult child on the cusp of becoming a teenager, her father is also a difficult person and he was a difficult child but I will defend them to my last breathe. If I can direct them down a more loving path or help them curb their tendency to say what is in their head regardless of what it may be then I will. Some people think that because I am like this I am blind to the person  or people I am talking to. I am not, if anything I am very conscious of them. I read their body language, their tone tells me a lot, how they hold themselves and the things they do. I ...

 if you are cursed? Yes it is a dumb question in an age where belief in magic is not strong save in the intentions for a better life than the one you are living. Yet... I am tired and listless, my energy is up and down like a light switch. Ditto my viewpoint on life. Sometimes I wonder just what is still keeping me here on earth instead of free in the aether. Not my kids and not my grandchildren not E, they don't need me any more. I do not need to be alive but here I sit anyway. I know what I should do, I even know the difference between should and must. I am discontent with my own laziness and procrastination and yet... the musts and shoulds are societies rules not mine. I am tired of trying to be what I should be and doing what I should be doing but even the musts have no power to move me. All I want to do is sleep away the days, at least in my dreams I am happy I think. I think because I do not know, I no longer recall my dreams not even the ones you have in the between times ju...