Happy Holidays

 The last one read like the manifesto of a suicide I know but I am not one of those. I've just been going through a rough patch.

Something  else is on my mind today and has been for awhile. Winter gives you nothing but time to think and December especially seems like a month for introspection what with the season of good will towards men turning into the lead up for a brand new year. For years I started this process right after my birthday in October but with all the shit I'm dealing with to get myself set up for the next 20-40 years,(turning 65 is no fun), I have just barely started the process.

A long time ago a doctor told me that obesity is a long slow death so that it what I chose but these days I am actually unhappy with my weight because it has begun to interfere with the thing I like best like travelling to new places and exploring them.

I have become more and more unhappy with myself over the last couple of months.  It has got to the point that I order in my groceries rather than go fetch them myself unless I have a ride. I hope that makes sense. Change is so hard though! 

I had a program I think it was near the beginning of the year where I did a couple of stretches in bed then got up and did some marching in place before I even got dressed. I had a whole routine for the morning: movement, making my bed, getting dressed, eating breakfast, cleaning up afterwards before I even turned my computer on. That routine and many others are very missing in my life and I miss it/them.

I kept that one up for 6 months I think before something came along and derailed me. That is the longest I've ever stuck to a routine. Now that I think on it it may have been a couple of years.

Since COVID so much has changed and this new political situation has caused prices to soar once again. Its been a long time since you could get a loaf of bread for a buck and even longer since you could get a can a pop and a small bag of chips for a quarter at the Five and Dime these days everything is a buck or two and they are called Dollar Stores.

Yeah I am old enough to remember the five and dime but that is not what I am talking about today. I miss my rut at least then I was doing something. These days all I do is play games, read and watch TV. Most of that on my computer.

I am all over the place today, memories are coming thick and fast but memories is not where I want to go. I want to get myself into a routine one that won't be derailed if I'm sharing my bed or sleeping in a hotel room and that is going to take some thinking and a lot of practice.

Microsoft To-Do is my planner of choice because it can be anywhere there is internet and you have a Microsoft ID which most people these day people do and it can contain a lot of lists that can be time-tabled and shown in one window with check boxes and everything. 

I have set up a lot of lists on it but I really need organize them better so that I don't have duplicates. It is easy and though it may not be as complex as one of the pricey ones I like it just fine. That is what I've been working on for the last couple of weeks with a little help from ChatGPT. While it is useful it definitely needs some refining which I'll be working on between now and the new year.

There is a book I have in my collection called Atomic Habits  which I highly recommend if you are struggling with keeping a regular routine, it will be one of the books I'll be referring to over the next couple of weeks to help me get organized again. This time I hope more than a couple of things will stick.

Another book I recommend is CHAOS to Clean which is the only book since the Sidetracked Sisters that I have found helpful for getting the house clean and organized. It is also on my reference list for the next couple of weeks because I really love her program 31 Easy Baby Steps. 

There are others but these two have helped me the most over the years and they will be the building blocks I will use to create a daily routine I can follow that works for me.

The other thing I need to find is a plan of some sort that will help me with my diabetes and hypertension. I really don't want a heart attack! This part of the planning will not be easy. As of right this minute I have enough to pay my rent and buy a few groceries. If I forgo food I can pay for my internet too but that leaves me no money for anything else. That makes me sad I have become used to living a life where I can afford almost anything I wanted but since my birthday I have found myself going to E for help far more than I am comfortable with.

Diet and Finances those are the two areas that I am having great difficulty with with all the changes that have happened since 2025 began. I will be glad to see the end of it. I hope 2026 is better. Happy holidays and wish me luck changing my life for the better.