No Idea

 Coming to ground touching down looking around I am here where I should be. Touching down looking around I am found I flourish where I should be Looking around I am found in my place I am home where I should be Coming to ground I look around I have found my reason to be where I am. Well that was interesting those words found their way to my hands without spending much time in my head. I am glad and for the first time I feel like I have finally reached my reason for being on this planet, in this town, in this building. So many roads lead me back here where I first found happiness. Short though the story may be I met my ex-husband on the front steps of this church and for 5 years I was happy. I still do not know for sure when that changed but I think it was on the trip we took out to BC to visit a friend of ours and ended up staying for a couple of years. Everything changed after that between him and I and I do not know why. Not the topic I was planning but it is preying on my mind s...

 For some reason I can not sleep this night, rather it is the time change, or just insomnia I don't know. I walked 13966 steps today I should be exhausted but instead my body is jumping all over the place. It itches, it aches, I close my eyes and try to blank out the world save for my fan and even the white noise isn't enough to let me rest. My body is restless and my mind scattered. Such nights I thought were long gone from my life. I wonder if I am finally getting a touch of Spring Fever. I do not think so because it is early yet for that. I feel cold, then I feel hot. My legs dance at my desk but not in the bed and yet still I can not sleep. Its like someone put itching powder in my bed or something except it isn't just my bed that itches me but my clothing as well. None of it makes sense and on top of all that a package I'd been waiting for was delivered by an incompetent driver who left it on the front step of my apartment building, they didn't even call to let...

 Sometimes my thoughts settle into repeat mode, what they repeat are conversations I feel I need to have but am a bit afraid to follow through on. Case in point the continued disrespect being shown to what is sacred ground even if it is no longer used as a church. At first it was a few scavengers going through the dumpster looking for the gods only know what, at first. If you looked outside Keith Hall right now you would be disgusted. They have been taking everything out of the dumpster and spreading it around the dumpster area and lately have been targeting the wheelchair ramp ... THE FRICKING WHEELCHAIR RAMP! which at least 4 tenants require the daily use of. It wasn't enough to turn the connecting hall and the upstairs into a dumpster now they are preventing the free movement of wheelchair bound and walker users. Talk about disrespect, which brings me to the conversation I keep having in my brain. At the end of the lane is a crackhouse which up until the last big snowstorm in ea...

 I am lactose intolerant to the point where lactose products seem to go right through me. I am also a fan of experimenting with recipes just because. A few days ago for instance I mixed up some my mr. noodles with vegetable soup and chicken broth and mushroom soup. I didn't add any milk and it turned out lovely just a little spicy and very filling. There are others I've tried as well but I think today was really good and it was simple. To start off I cooked a half pound of ground beef in the oven until it was nearly cooked through. About 5 minutes or so before I pulled it out of the oven I covered the upper side with black pepper. I cut that in half and added it to a standard stroganoff hamburger helper mix.  Instead of adding regular milk I added almond milk and cooked it according to the directions. The almond milk gave the sauce a sweetish taste and the pepper added some heat. I was so good. I just felt the need to share what I mean when I say I am a creative cook. So far I...

 Another night where my mind will simply not shut up until I write what is going on in it. Today was strange or maybe it is just my thoughts. I did not get out of bed until 3pm not because I slept that long, I just couldn't seem to get myself moving until L called me and asked me if I wanted to go for a walk with him. I jumped at the chance because it got me up and moving. We walked all about 6 km and talked about many things starting with why he was in a pensive mood and ending discussing a house he had a large interest in. Got to admit I liked it too. We were invited in for a quick look see of the main floor which included a formal dining room and a kitchen I could be tempted to kill for with a view that was exquisite. For me the energy in that house was filled with feelings of love and joy. It made me a bit hyper and talkative which is unusual for me. When we got back we stopped to talk to Alex and Dillon  who are also tenants here. We were talking about the disaster I ment...

 That is how fairy tales start and I wish the last week was just a story! I am a disciple of Aphrodite  and for years I did my spells as women for thousands of years have done on my back. As age creeps up on me I no longer have that option open to me so I opened my heart and my home as a place of acceptance for those who have no home of their own. I do not regret my decision except to those who abuse the options I offer. This story is about one such person she calls herself Cash/Ash depending on who she is talking to. Her name on the street is "No Pants". I do not know how long she has been on the street though she appears to be in her mid-twenties so upwards of a decade possibly. She does not wear anything to cover her privates as far as I can tell so that she doesn't have to find a bathroom. When she needs to go she just goes like an animal would. At first she seemed reasonably mentally stable aside from that little issue mentioned above. I treated her as I did any othe...

You say that I do not understand what it is like but I wonder if you do? You laugh at the pain of being molested how dare you laugh at another s pain? It isn't funny at all but you find it hilarious. You think calling other people big back is ok, it isn't really fat shaming but it is. You are cruel on purpose, saying things to people to make them feel bad about themselves. Why? What do you get out of making others feel bad? You literally don't care about anyone else, a friend gets burned and you have no apparent compassion for them. Why? Are they really a friend or just someone you have claimed as one? A person should not treat their friends like they are there just for you to ridicule while not being alone. Why? I have tried to understand that many things have happened in your life that caused you some mental pain and hurting other people is how you cope but I don't understand why that was your choice. There were so many ways you could have done to deal with your perce...