No Idea

 So it is almost mid summer, tomorrow in fact. Should I celebrate the longest day of the year? I'd love to but I do not have a place I can do that. I seldom regret that I don't own a house but really I'm 63 what would be the point except as something to give my kids to sell when I die. Still I miss being able to decorate the front porch for what ever holiday was up next, I miss being able to have a barbecue and a bonfire on the back patio. Sometimes, like today when such an important sun day is coming but other than that I can do without the hassle of home ownership. An in-law apartment somewhere yeah I could do that and gladly but a house with all the maintenance stuff uh uh. I need to figure out who I am again, or  I can  just do what I please as I please and see where it takes me. I'm afraid that will make me an enemy of some dangerous people but I really don't care. They want respect they gotta show others respect, I've tried but all I seem to do is clean up...

 I can't shake the feeling I am going to be homeless soon and I don't know that I am ready for that. Why do I feel that way, I'm not sure but I have the feeling just the same. It seems that troubles keep piling up and I can hardly breathe for all the things I feel responsible for.  I am not supposed to be responsible for anyone or anything except myself, supposed to be so. I cry a lot inside myself, the dythymia is jumping all over the place, some days I feel manic other days it's a chore to get out of bed. Stuff comes out of my mouth that I would not say if I were in my normal mindset  and the cloying air chokes me. I go off on people for no real reason except that they have said or done something to piss me off. The worst part for me is seeing myself do these things and being unable to stop myself. This is my third iteration of myself or maybe the fourth and I do not like myself but it feels like I have stuff from a long time ago cropping up and I get that person was ...

 i needed an open forum to work through a few things. I began to cry today just because a friend that I yelled at yelled back. i know i tend to just jump into things with both feet said friend assumed that because I was leaving and didn't know where I would end up and that E wouldn't be with me and made an indecent proposal. I said no cause I may be leaving first e will join me as soon as he is able to. this is what we have discussed. I did not realize just how sensitive I was to being yelled at. I went about it the wrong way obviously by shouting but him shouting back shook me to my core. no one has shouted at me in a long time & now I can't get the tears to stop I always knew I didn't like conflict but I also realize that something is changing in my brain and I am angry a lot.  I knew this feeling a long time ago I think before I went through a car accident and a total mental breakdown. I yell rather than go cold like I trained myself to do a long time ago. if thi...

 Getting up at 6 am is ungodly early but we had to leave by 7 am to get to the airport on time. We went to the airport by Lyft so that wasn't so bad and he was able to get us there well within our window.  One good thing to know about travelling by plane, put your ticket on your phone because you have to show it at least 5 times before you get on the plane. You will also need some kind of ID to get on the plane. As an unseasoned traveller I have a lot to learn, this is only my second time flying. Next time maybe I'll fly east instead of west. E has been talking about driving there but he is our only driver so it will take a week or more to drive there to allow him adequate rest time. We have a couple of trips in the works but as E is fond of reminding me all the good things in life cost money. And this trip cost him $1000 dollars to bring me. He figures I should know, so I will be suitably grateful. Wow I am in a cynical mood today, I hope I am not turning into a grumpy old la...

 Yesterday was a great day! We left Peterpatch around 8am and headed to Toronto. We had a full day planned. The two main things for the day was the Ripley's Aquarium then watch a production of Les Miserable @ Mervish Theatre. The Aquarium was a great test for Night photography on my phone as they keep it so dim there. When I remembered to wait for it to finish processing I got some lovely shots like these Sea Anemone Star Fish Look like dandelions to me We visited the gift shop on our way out and I got another magnet for my fridge. That cute little purple guy. After that we stopped for lunch, from a hotdog cart, I got a mild polish sausage, I ate the sausage and gave all or almost all of the bun to the birds. There were pigeons and wrens vying for it. The wrens are quick and if they can hold it in their beak they will take it, they even tryed with the much bigger pieces I threw out for the pigeons. It was quite funny actually watching this small bird try to take a piece of bread bi...

  I will be honest by the time we got here I was beat but it was our last day before returning home so we spent an hour or so looking around. I didn't take very many pictures The first thing I saw when I walked in was an Ice Rink and not a small one either, there was a hockey game going on. It was a peewee team but we didn't stop, it was cold in that hall. I took a photo of the Map but it didn't turn out well so this one is from their website. You can see how massive it is!  There was so much to see that I was sad that I was too tired to really enjoy it, maybe next time we'll do it first instead of last. I realize that this is nearly a year over due but it has been a very difficult time for me between dealing with the Cancer, GD #3's break down followed by my own, a bout of Covid and months stuck so deep in my head I wasn't sure I'd ever find my way out. I hope since then I have made some amends.

In our fast-paced world, effective communication is key. Central to this is the often-overlooked art of listening. Listening isn't just about hearing; it's about understanding, empathizing, and truly connecting with others. Here are 12 essential listening skills to help you enhance your communication and relationships: - **Active Engagement**: Show genuine interest in the speaker by using both verbal and non-verbal cues. Maintain eye contact, nod, and provide feedback to demonstrate your attention. - **Empathetic Understanding**: Try to see things from the speaker's perspective and acknowledge their emotions. Reflecting their feelings back to them shows empathy and understanding. - **Non-Verbal Awareness**: Pay attention to the speaker's body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. These cues can convey more than words alone. - **Respectful Silence**: Allow for pauses in conversation, as silence can be just as powerful as words. This gives the speaker time to g...