Self-Education begins here

 Like many creative people I always have several plans in the works, my UFO list is long as is my WTD list (UFO=Unfinished objects, WTD=Want to do). Right now I am trying to work on the following:

1) Learn how to make a short film (Animated, Documentary)

2) Learn to create good page layout (for the poetry)

3) Create a book that consists of my poetry and my art

4) Write a publishable short story or two from previously created ones.

5) Create a series of digital art pieces using my own photography

I have Adobe CC but it does not work properly because they are not paid for. I needed applications that can do what I need so I downloaded and am learning several Open Source applications for practice and basic training. If they go well then and only then will I rent the Adobe CC ones.

I happen to have a membership to a digital library that allows me to download books on nearly any subject which is where I have been finding books to teach me what I need to know. That and I have been seeking websites that can and will give feedback on my work. Two of them you are probably familiar with, they are Deviant Art and Instagram. 

There are also many free courses online and through YouTube which I will be making use of as I go along. The paid ones might be better but I can't afford them.

Today is Drawing day. Drawing is an important skill and though I would prefer to go full-tilt ahead to digital drawing I need to get some practice in first. The book I am using for this is called "Drawing For the Absolute Beginner"

When I checked out the contents it seemed absolutely perfect for me. I draw, have drawn many things but there is no consistency nor shading in what I have done. Even the digital ones have been hit and miss.

Tomorrow is 2D animation which is why I am trying to learn consistency. It is the basis for 3D animation though I am not sure if I will go that route. The first animation I want to create is pretty simple and would work well in 2D format I think.

Yes I already have a story in mind, I even got as far as making a storyboard for it a while back but had no idea how to go from drawing the sequence to making it come alive, thus 2D animation.

The other classes I am doing are as follows:

Photography- Both from the standpoint of taking strong photos and digital manipulation. You will find most of these on Instagram

Film Making- with emphasis on making a short documentary using my camera and Opensource software in particular Blender, followed by the animation short. These I am hoping to put on a Youtube channel but I don't have one yet.

Visual Communication- The Basics of Digital Art. You will find them at Deviant Art. There is nothing there just yet but there will be. 

Art & Creativity- This is for Art Journal stuff again in digital form, these will also be at Deviant Art. Colour Theory and learning from the Masters will be part of this, it is basically Art class

Digital Essentials- This is for the applications and programs I need to learn to create any of the above.

Seven different classes, one for each day of the week. I have several textbooks on these subjects including both for instruction and assignments. The process is not stream-lined like it would be in a school but I believe it is possible to become good enough to create what I want to create.

Circumstances and consequences

 The happy thoughts at least let me sleep reasonably well last night, the last time I got out of bed was at 2:30 a.m. to relieve myself, next thing I knew it was 9:00 a.m. If you are not E you probably wonder why that is a big deal. The fact of the matter is it has been a while since I only woke up once in the night, I am usually up 3 or 4 times a night, so to me it is a big deal.

Now 2.5 hours later I have eaten, taken my medication and I am yawning and my eyes are heavy. Perhaps because of the painkiller I take 4x a day, perhaps because of depression perhaps not. It is what it is. My thinking is fractured and my energy is nearly non-existent.

But that is not why I am here today, I promised E I would make an effort to write every day because strangely writing helps me sort thoughts out and put them in a sensible order. I have been journaling for a long time and it has always helped when my brain gets fuzzy like this if I do it.

A couple of months ago I walked into a burial service to which I was neither invited nor welcome. We were looking to go swimming but the beach we wanted to go to didn't allow dogs and since we were in the area we decided to go to the graveyard to visit Mom and Dad. There was a gathering there and at first I didn't think about it, I figured I didn't know them. I was wrong.

Turned out it was a bunch of my cousins on my dad's side of the family came to bury their sister and her husband. They are the family I wanted to be part of in my younger days but …

There were a couple of bad moments involving that family at my father's funeral and I had only spoken to the younger ones since then and that seldom. 

The cousin they were burying was five years deceased, her ashes were in her husbands' custody, a fact I did not know. I hugged everybody, apologized to everybody I needed to apologize to, and then put my foot in my mouth again with a member of the younger generation this time. 

I left but the depression had already begun and I needed to get away from them. I am having a hard time with acceptance since she had been a companion during my early school days. 

We had had a falling out during my drinking days and I had always had the hope that I would be able to ask her forgiveness someday. I didn't expect it to be at her graveside. 

I got through the rest of that day and then fell into the deepest depression I've been in since my mom died. My father died after her but he was sick for a long time before he passed so it wasn't as quick as hers had been. 

(Sides I felt responsible for my mother's death, I felt I was the one who gave that bacteria an entrance into her bloodstream by accidentally pulling out her catheter.)

(My mom was injured in an accident and although she was alive and healthy she was confined to a wheelchair for 11 years before she passed. She was also just past her 50th birthday.)

Back to the funeral & the depression that followed, still seems to follow me. I found myself sleeping 18 to 20 hours a day, I was unable to do anything, I had trouble concentrating, and I lost all interest in things except sleeping.

After a month of this, I began to come out of it a bit. Only a bit because I was still sleeping 12 hours a day. There was nothing I wanted to do. There was lots that needed doing but nothing I could make myself do.

One day I just woke up and decided to hell with this I needed to find something to do. I tried a few things but nothing clicked until I saw the ad for a film school in BC. I remembered a dream from long ago about creating my own short animation film. 

I checked out the curriculum self-study for the animation course and found out there were a lot of little parts that go into making the whole so I began a course of self study.

I am more than a little confused by everything I need to learn but I have many years to teach myself the basics.. At $20,000 per semester, I couldn't afford to go to the school and thus home study. Until today when I realized I have no way of knowing if my stuff is good or correct without a teacher. Today I am looking around the internet to find peer groups that can maybe help me with that.

or I will be once I sleep and then kick myself in the ass to do something besides let this gloom get me down. Tomorrow I will talk about each course here and then try to find or make a lesson plan of some sort as it has been kinda hit and miss without one

Tonight

 I am sitting here in my own home fighting the depression that I thought was gone. It started funny enough in a place I was a year ago, listening to Scarlett cry because her dad would not do what she wanted him to.

Hearing Breanna's voice on the phone just knocked me down. I am not sure what made me go over the edge but I'm sitting here on the edge of tears. 

I had a great time last night, for my birthday we did a taste test using chicken strips and General's Hot Sauces

This is the selection we tried. I have been watch something on Youtube called the TRY channel with E, I love all the stuff they sample and really wanted to do something like it. We were watching their video on the sauces and when E said he had the collection above, I thought cool! When he suggested we bring it down when we came down for us to do a try night I was excited. 

We went out to Swiss Chalet with my daughter & family and as we were leaving I was talking about the taste test thing. my SIL was interested so I suggested they come over and we would do it together. It was fun, the best birthday since my 60ith!

My daughter tried to videotape it but we hadn't set it up right so it didn't turn out so great but I've uploaded it below, the woman is me and GS#3 is the child. One of the men is E and the other is my SIL you guess which is which.

We are thinking about doing it again sometime in the near future but we aren't sure when.

Next time we will set it up so my daughter can film it properly. 

Writing about the happy made me feel less sad, guess I'm gonna have to do that more often.

July 13 The Calgary Stampede

I spent a productive day in the hotel room, basically recovering from all the exercise I'd been doing. This turned out to be a bad idea cause I became more aware of the aches and pains throughout my body which made me a bit whiny.

I did walk a little bit to the plaza beside the hotel and had a nice lunch at Ricky's, I tasted Chicken and Waffles for the first time. Not bad but as usual way too much food. 

When Rob got back we headed out to the Stampede and in particular the Chuck wagon races which is why I wanted to go. Except... as with many big fairs... we had a hard time finding parking anywhere close to the venue.

Once parked we headed to the fairgrounds. Along the way, I saw an interesting sight.

The ruins of an old hospital. We had to walk by it so we could get to the entrance. I explored it a bit then we joined the thong of people headed to the grounds.

We followed the wrong group and ended up at the entrance to the concert that was happening that night.

After a long wait in line and an explanation, the cashier directed us to the main entrance.

On the way there I saw scooters that were apparently for everyone to ride but I couldn't get Rob to try one so we walked and we walked and we walked. LOL, it was a place full of sights, sounds and smells which made it difficult to pay attention to much for any length of time.

We saw this Installation on the way to the midway, children were everywhere climbing on them and pretending they were real. I was tempted but figured I was too old to climb things taller than me. 

I love my everlovin' but on occasion, he is too focused on the adult thing to do instead of just letting himself have fun for a bit. That day he was in full adult mode much to my frustration.

The Strangest thing I saw was the various types of foods made with strange ingredients like this Pickle Pizza, and deep-fried Dads Cookies I saw nearby.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I got lots of pictures of the chuck wagon races, we watched eight of them before feeling the need to go out and explore a bit more. This is the best one as far as I can tell:

They were so fast each heat was only like 5 minutes long so I got a lot of wagons and horses just never the whole thing at once. I almost asked my Everloving to take me closer to the starting point so I could get a better picture but the crowd was insane and I don't do well in crowds.

After this, we did another more leisurely walk cause I had seen a red cowboy hat I wanted but it was a child's hat and I couldn't ask for one because of that, not sure why.

Eventually, we came to a tent of the supplier of Cowboy hats since I didn't need to explain to anyone that it was for me I bought it. I also found a sheriff star and another pin for my grandsons.

And for me, a lava whip while wearing the coveted red cowboy hat. 

All in all an excellent day, well except for the very end of the night. It had just started to get dark when we left. We headed back out the way we came in to get to the car but we couldn't find it. So I went to talk to the security types in one of those carts they drive around in. They were very nice and gave us a lift back to our vehicle. Turned out we had entered the parking lot in the wrong place. So a bit of a panic situation, our first thought was theft but no we both just had a bad directional evening.

The plaque by the horse statuary

Calgary skyline from the fairgrounds

One Guess Who Helped Sponsor It!
Yahoo that's who!

July 12

 Today we head to Calgary after E is done working. We packed up and checked out of the Sandman. I spent most of the day in a place called Cafe on 54. E joined me and grabbed himself a Reuban when he was done which he seem to like.

I worked on the journal and drew a picture of Edmonton before we landed. 

Scan and add photo of art work.

We had to wait for the network guy while he returned his car so we hung out at a nearby gas station though it was a bit more than that with a car wash and a convenience store. It was a long wait so I grabbed some junk food. I lost one of the things I bought but the 7 day croissant was pretty good.

The network guy wanted to stop at a beach called Sylvan Beach on the way to Calgary. It was interesting, one of those lakes where you can walk out a long way before it starts to get above your knees. There was a camping area, a playground, and a small marina.

   

I walked along the kelp-strewn beach looking for a stone or two, what I found were waterlogged wood chips.

We arrived in Calgary quite late but we were all hungry so we stopped at Taj Mahal Restaurant for dinner. E got Butter Chicken and the Network guy got some kind of vegetarian dish, I only got a Lassi so I had a choice while they each ate their own thing. The network guy raised a bit of a stink cause E offered to pay the whole bill but he insisted it be split.

We dropped him at his hotel and headed to the Holiday Express. While it wasn't nearly as impressive as the Sandman it was decent with a separate bedroom and space for a meeting if required. It did have a nice fireplace and a counter for the kitchenette so we both had work space.

Needless to say we went to sleep pretty quick. It was a big travel day and we had another one coming up in another day & a half.

July 11

 We had the hotel room for two nights so I decided to spend my second day in Alberta exploring South Common Mall which covers 5 acres or more, all outside entrances, no covered walkways here.

He dropped me off in front of Michaels so I would have a starting place I wouldn't forget. 

After getting embroidery needles, pencil crayons & a drawing book I headed out to my next goal. I really needed my hair trimmed so I looked around until I found a barber shop. I thought I might get a good deal but it ended up costing me the same as it would if I'd gone to a salon. Even so I felt tons better once my hair wasn't such a mess. The place was called Tommy Gun's Original Barbershop. I liked the woman who did my hair a lot, she was patient but talkative. Highly recommend this place!

Alberta has been under a smoke haze from various wildfires so instead of a warm day it was kinda cool so I went looking for a place I could get a cheap sweater. I found an Old Navy. It was difficult to leave that store with just the sweater, they had so many pretty dresses ...

I was hungry and wanted to sit and write for a bit so I went looking for a Tim Hortons. After about half an hour of rest I headed back to the Michaels only to get side-tracked into a Lindt store. I had some luck and found a small package of their chocolate which I bought.

I was headed back to Michaels when I remembered the movie theatre that is there. I decided I was going to treat myself to a movie before heading back to the hotel.

I watched a movie called Astroid City. It was a genre that I wasn't familiar with but I did enjoy it along with my popcorn and a couple of chocolates.

Once it was over I decided to head back to the hotel so I called a cab, it was only $13 from the theatre to the hotel which seems very reasonable to me.

Sadly when I got back to the hotel I could not remember our room number and had a bit of a panic attack even went as far as talking to the cleaning staff before going to the front desk to ask. After I dropped off my stuff I decided to look into the on-site restaurants.

Both Chop and Denny's are on site so we could go high-end (Chop) or comfort food (Denny's). We decided on Denny's.

After a good meal and our other routines, we headed to bed. I slept amazingly considering how much walking I did today.

July 9th & 10th

 I was on my way to see GD#3 in Aurora with my son when he made me an offer I couldn't refuse.

Everlovin' was planning on coming down to get me that night after work. I was a little worried because it meant he would be very tired after working all day and then driving the 2 hrs to get me and the 2 hrs back cause we needed to be at the airport at 9:30 or so. My son said that Aurora was pretty close to where Everlovin' lives near the border of Toronto and Markham so he could drop me off and save Everlovin from having to make the trip. It also meant I could worry less about his heart and the fatigue he would be feeling with the time change between Ontario and Alberta.

So instead of spending the night traveling
dinner was provided by my MIL and I got to sit out under the gazebo and see all the pretty flowers my BIL has grown.

I need to say before I go any further that I had never been on a jet before, I'd ridden in a fixed wing so it wasn't totally strange. I was beyond excited and nervous, first to be going into a real airport, and second for riding in a jet (Airbus320).

So much to tell, all exciting to me but maybe not so much you. E showed me how to measure my bags to make sure they were the right size, and we checked the big suitcase. When our flight was called they asked people to put their carry-ons into stowage but we didn't.

We then had to go through the metal detector. I had to hand over both my bags and go through them, thankfully I didn't have any problems though E had to go through them a couple of times because of his tools.

On the other side, they opened our bags searching for Contraband, luckily the only thing I had was a pair of scissors which I lost because they were a cm too long, I'm just glad I had my backup pair.

We sat and waited what felt like hours before our flight was called. We waited in the waiting area. Our tickets were standby tickets so they had to assign us our seats before takeoff

E and I were in the same row on the plane. He got a window seat so he switched with me so I had the window and he was on the aisle; it was my first time after all and he was being nice. Love that man of mine!

This was just before we started to taxi to lift off. Because we were at the tail end of the plane the wing kinda got in the way of the view a little.

Once in the air, I watched out my window for a while til we got above the clouds. I tried to get photos and if any turned out I will share them on Facebook.

During the rest of the 4-hour trip, I read and watched our fellow passengers. I saw a family group standing around a row of seats I'm assuming the seated ones were elders but I couldn't see their faces.

My seatmates were a couple of age with me so we mainly ignored each other. There was the proverbial kid in front of us that kept pushing back on the seat and shaking the table my tablet was on.

In front of me was a screen on which I could keep track of how close we were to our destination, at the one-hour out mark I put my stuff away and got a few winks.

 

After touchdown, it was a simple process although waiting for our big bag on the carousel worried me a bit. We went and got our car from the rental place. That was fun (not) we went to the window we thought we were supposed to go sent to another one and then were looked after by this nice lady who was just beginning a second shift.

We found the car and headed out to the hotel. After getting our room we went out to get dinner. For the first time in years, I had dinner at the Olive Garden. Delicious as always!

Our hotel room was literally exactly what I would like my tiny house to be with a kitchenette, laundry, and a breakfast nook so we had space for both of us to have a desk. It was absolutely perfect!

After relaxing and doing our games we went to sleep. I slept so well that night!